[He doesn't look so good, but he wants to get one thing out of the way first.]
This has nothing to do with us, Rin or the whole relationship. I'm happy with it and would like to still continue... depending on how you feel about me after this conversation.
[ She enters, closing the door behind her while raising an eyebrow at him. ]
What do you mean?
[ Of course, she was glad that he was happy with their current relationship and wants it to continue, and relieved that it's not about that, but she's concerned now with whatever news he has that he believes could impact that at all. ]
I'm just going to explain it in full. So please, listen until the end.
[He offers her a seat on his bed.]
This has been going on for months now, but I have access to the dark web and that I watch it for anything suspicious... or I should have been just doing that. Instead I've been doing quests on there. Mostly things that were more harmless or that I could easily do by avoiding any major damage. Until this month.
[He pauses for a moment. Looking for the right words.]
I helped murder someone. A criminal. But it was still murder. It made me realize that I'm definitely heading towards the wrong direction here.
[And here goes the punch line.]
And it's all because I didn't want to turn back into Shirou.
[ Her concern only rises, but she sits down next to him, listening carefully...
Her eyes widen at the reveal, her mouth hanging open but saying nothing. She almost interjected, but she caught herself and allowed him to finish. ]
Archer...
[ Honestly, no matter how different he is, her eyes can't help but continue to see what remains of her true Master in him... the base of the individual known as Heroic Spirit EMIYA. How could she not? She'd seen it from the very beginning, had her suspicions, even if she didn't realize it until their final confrontation with Caster... when he laid bare his inner world and in a single moment, Saber understood.
It was no wonder why she summoned by him at all. Sure, her sheathe played more then plenty of a part in it, but more than that...
When she would look at Shirou Emiya, she would see a mirror of her own ideals.
When she would look at Archer, she would see a mirror of the result she arrived at.
It only made sense that any budding feelings she may have started to possess for the redheaded boy would bud simultaneously for the man sitting next to her right now. They were the same at their cores... but she hadn't seen how that had tormented him until now. ]
[Archer is prepared any harsh words Saber might have about his... actions. He's aware he's gone against all that a Knight stands for by being like this. It's why he was also prepared for this relationship to be over.
He also had a hunch this would go into Shirou talk... which was what he was less prepared for, but accepted it.]
I thought I was able to, at the end of the war... but after coming here and getting another chance at a normal life, my mind has been a maze. Especially after he left and... you took me into your relationship.
[It's hard to admit this, but.]
I've been afraid I'm just a replacement for him, I suppose. As ridiculous as that sounds.
[ Artoria wasn't about to pretend she doesn't have blood on her hands either, even if she does disagree with his actions as they go against her code of honor. Honestly, she is upset that he was involved with the dark web at all, but that's something for later. ]
Truth be told, I still see parts of him in you. When you revealed your identity during the war, it felt as if it had been obvious... looking me in the eyes the entire time, hidden only by my own ignorance.
[ She's not about to say they have nothing in common, as much as either of them would love to insist. She'd be lying right to his face, and she's sure that he'd pick up on that. ]
However, Archer, we are heroic spirits. We cannot return to how we used to be, we can only move forward... preferably on a path we consider just.
[ A subtle nudge with the meaning of "stop going down this path now", but it's beside the point. Saber stands, taking a few steps forward before turning around to face him. It's almost nostalgic, similar to a brief moment oh so long ago involving a boy flat on his ass looking up at a girl having materialized in a storage shed. ]
I am of the opinion that even if the cores are the same, our experiences... our choices are what determine who we are.
[ A brief flash in her mind of a vision of herself, her hair down and in a white dress. ]
At your roots, you both wield a body of steel and a heart of glass. However, just as Shirou is not—and will not become—yourself, here you are.
[ She smiles. ]
Yourself.
[ She wasn't the Now and Forever King for nothing. Though she made many mistakes during her life, she has only grown... and with it, her own wisdom. Concerning either Shirou or Archer, men who put her face-to-face with the two faces of her own ideals, it can especially shine. ]
[It does bring a memory of that scene back into his mind. Most of his memories as Shirou were hidden away in the sands of time, but summoning Saber is one memory he remembered vividly.
The words she says make him go silent. They told a lot of meaning. A lot of pain, too, in a way. But also... Hope.
She truly was the King he wanted to look up to. His anxiety filled expression changes into a sad, but soft smile.
Rin did promise him Shirou would never turn into a twisted jerk like Archer. History had changed. He had found his answer back the.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2022-05-31 07:06 pm (UTC)[He doesn't look so good, but he wants to get one thing out of the way first.]
This has nothing to do with us, Rin or the whole relationship. I'm happy with it and would like to still continue... depending on how you feel about me after this conversation.
no subject
Date: 2022-05-31 07:09 pm (UTC)What do you mean?
[ Of course, she was glad that he was happy with their current relationship and wants it to continue, and relieved that it's not about that, but she's concerned now with whatever news he has that he believes could impact that at all. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-05-31 07:13 pm (UTC)[He offers her a seat on his bed.]
This has been going on for months now, but I have access to the dark web and that I watch it for anything suspicious... or I should have been just doing that. Instead I've been doing quests on there. Mostly things that were more harmless or that I could easily do by avoiding any major damage. Until this month.
[He pauses for a moment. Looking for the right words.]
I helped murder someone. A criminal. But it was still murder. It made me realize that I'm definitely heading towards the wrong direction here.
[And here goes the punch line.]
And it's all because I didn't want to turn back into Shirou.
no subject
Date: 2022-05-31 09:20 pm (UTC)Her eyes widen at the reveal, her mouth hanging open but saying nothing. She almost interjected, but she caught herself and allowed him to finish. ]
Archer...
[ Honestly, no matter how different he is, her eyes can't help but continue to see what remains of her true Master in him... the base of the individual known as Heroic Spirit EMIYA. How could she not? She'd seen it from the very beginning, had her suspicions, even if she didn't realize it until their final confrontation with Caster... when he laid bare his inner world and in a single moment, Saber understood.
It was no wonder why she summoned by him at all. Sure, her sheathe played more then plenty of a part in it, but more than that...
When she would look at Shirou Emiya, she would see a mirror of her own ideals.
When she would look at Archer, she would see a mirror of the result she arrived at.
It only made sense that any budding feelings she may have started to possess for the redheaded boy would bud simultaneously for the man sitting next to her right now. They were the same at their cores... but she hadn't seen how that had tormented him until now. ]
...you still cannot accept him?
[ She asks, unsure of what else to say. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-05-31 09:38 pm (UTC)He also had a hunch this would go into Shirou talk... which was what he was less prepared for, but accepted it.]
I thought I was able to, at the end of the war... but after coming here and getting another chance at a normal life, my mind has been a maze. Especially after he left and... you took me into your relationship.
[It's hard to admit this, but.]
I've been afraid I'm just a replacement for him, I suppose. As ridiculous as that sounds.
no subject
Date: 2022-05-31 10:49 pm (UTC)Truth be told, I still see parts of him in you. When you revealed your identity during the war, it felt as if it had been obvious... looking me in the eyes the entire time, hidden only by my own ignorance.
[ She's not about to say they have nothing in common, as much as either of them would love to insist. She'd be lying right to his face, and she's sure that he'd pick up on that. ]
However, Archer, we are heroic spirits. We cannot return to how we used to be, we can only move forward... preferably on a path we consider just.
[ A subtle nudge with the meaning of "stop going down this path now", but it's beside the point. Saber stands, taking a few steps forward before turning around to face him.
It's almost nostalgic, similar to a brief moment oh so long ago involving a boy flat on his ass looking up at a girl having materialized in a storage shed.]I am of the opinion that even if the cores are the same, our experiences... our choices are what determine who we are.
[ A brief flash in her mind of a vision of herself, her hair down and in a white dress. ]
At your roots, you both wield a body of steel and a heart of glass. However, just as Shirou is not—and will not become—yourself, here you are.
[ She smiles. ]
Yourself.
[ She wasn't the Now and Forever King for nothing. Though she made many mistakes during her life, she has only grown... and with it, her own wisdom. Concerning either Shirou or Archer, men who put her face-to-face with the two faces of her own ideals, it can especially shine. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-05-31 11:02 pm (UTC)The words she says make him go silent. They told a lot of meaning. A lot of pain, too, in a way. But also... Hope.
She truly was the King he wanted to look up to. His anxiety filled expression changes into a sad, but soft smile.
Rin did promise him Shirou would never turn into a twisted jerk like Archer. History had changed. He had found his answer back the.
And he remained who he was.]
Myself. That's right... I am Emiya. Just that.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-01 01:05 am (UTC)Then follow your heart and your own beliefs, Emiya.
[ She says that softly, though what she says next comes more sternly. ]
And cease your Dark Web activities.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-06 08:36 am (UTC)I can do that.